It doesn't matter where you start - it's all connected
This model adapted from Daniel Ofman links the various starting points which might trigger coaching, eg a desire to build on strengths, or a recognition of weaknesses, or feedback on what you need to do to develop, or simply a difficult work relationship you need to deal with.
The job of the coach is to create space for people to think more clearly about these things, and SPACE is also a useful acronym for key points for the coach in this coaching process:
S = Situation - You need to hear about specific examples, because you are not trying to change overall personality, just break habitual behaviour in specific situations where it is not helpful
P = Perception - You need to focus on how the coachee sees things, because that determines what they feel, think and do. Help them to see that their reality is subjective not objective!
A = Attention - You need to pay full attention, using not just ears, but your eyes and the rest of your body - noticing breathing, body language and your own physical / emotional reactions
C= Curiosity - You need to avoid making assumptions, or pre judging the answers you think your coachee "should" come to. Let it be a journey of discovery for both of you!
E= Empathy - You need to recognise, and acknowledge appropriately, difficult emotions which arise during the coaching. If the topic creates no emotion... it probably isn't that important!
"Be yourself more... with skill" Professor Rob Goffee
For occasional insights based on applying these ideas in real life, please follow this link to the eqivalent "chapter" of my blog site: