Perception depends on the "lenses" you are looking through
How you perceive what's going on around you produces an automatic reaction which affects how we feel, which then affects how we think, and therefore what we do. The key to remember is that our perception is "subjective" not "objective". We view reality through 3 lenses (or filters):
System (role): This is about what you consciously or unconsciously believe is expected in your role, and how you're expected to see things. Roles may be organisational (eg top, middle, bottom) or natural (eg innovator, shaper, moderator) or adopted / projected (eg victim, rescuer, tough guy). It can make a big difference when you make deliberate choices about your behavioural role.
Personality (you): This is about your (conscious or unconscious) beliefs, and habitual attitudes or assumptions. These may manifest differently depending on your current emotional state - so it helps to learn to recognise and understand your different emotional states.
Inter-personal interaction (others): This is about the impact of another's personality (or role), which can trigger many assumptions and completely change your emotional state. Big differences come from changing your perception of other people - because when you change your reaction to them as a person you can view their actions very differently.