Why perception is the key to change
Perception determines what you feel, think & do        

The limbic is the first part of the brain to react to stimuli from our external senses (eyes, ears etc) and It pre-determines in milliseconds our response to any event, situation, or person based on a form of pattern matching of the situation to our "programming" - explicit or implicit (unconscious) memories from previous experiences or our early development. 


It instantly judges things as "good" or "bad", and this emotional response drives our actions, both directly as we instinctively react, and indirectly by changing our conscious thinking - we literally think differently depending on whether we see thngs as good or bad. We are typically unaware that our thinking is being constrained - we presume it is objective. However, you can become better at recognising when we might be compromised, by paying more attention to your emotions - particularly negative ones such as fear or anger. 

The dominance of the lImbic is why just deciding to do something differently often doesn't succeed in changing anything. What you need to change is the habitual limbic perception and response, either "in the moment" or by "re-training" over time via self-reflection and/or coaching. The goal is either to trigger different memories (eg by cognitive re-framing in your imagination), or to create new ones (eg by live enactment in role play / "real play"). 

"The limbic only learns by experience" Dr Alexis Johnson