Over-reaction to "difference" reduces your effectiveness

"What planet are they from?!" It's a rhetorical question we often use dismissively.

It's actually a good one to ask ourselves more seriously, with more curiosity than judgement. Our own ego finds difference threatening, and often deals with this by avoidance or aggression. This tends to produce the same in the other person. So neither party is thinking clearly or acting intentionally and the resu!t is normally sub-optimal.  

If we can manage our ego, we can respond rather than react. We need to avoid making assumptions or pre-judgements which can turn out to be self-fulfilling prophecies.

Success in dealing with people we find difficult (because different) comes from: 

  • recognising and dealing appropriately with individuality (ego-style  / personality); AND 

  • connecting with common humanity (letting your SELF see their SELF)

​It's not about liking or being alike - it's about accepting people really do live in different worlds.

"Even Ogres have layers" Shrek